A few days ago, I found myself sitting in bed with a half eaten baguette on my bedside table, two empty packets of Cadbury's Fingers (other fingers are available), and half a packet of biscuits.
It was honestly a toss-up at this point whether I felt more miserable before I started eating all these or after I'd finished. I had not felt so low in a long time, I wouldn't say depressed, more really, REALLY sad, so I knew that all I had been doing was emotionally eating all day; I wasn't expecting the food to make me feel any better, but scarf it I did.
You see, ordinarily these days I'd have gone out and done something else. Two weeks before this I'd got into running using a great little app I found for my phone called ZombiesRun 5k and was beginning to get the hang of it after a few really fun little training sessions - never in a million years did I think that running would ever be my thing - but seriously, stick some zombies and a 'computer game' style element in a fitness regime and it's an instant hit for me! Unfortunately my nephews had, that same week, also commandeered me into playing a game of football with them in the park - which meant that I buggered up a ligament in my knee and have been 'resting' ever since. This was only two weeks ago, but it feels like a lifetime and set back one of my goals for my time off since redundancy!
I'm not annoyed at myself for emotional eating, and I don't feel guilty - hey, even after 3 years I'm still aware I'm battling an old habit of binge eating when I feel low - and I also know that part of the reason I felt bad was the inability to walk gently, even for as little as 10 minutes, without increasing the pain in my knee.
I guess the reason for this post is that, even with a body-positive attitude and a good relationship with food, you can still have your moments of weakness, but that's OK.
It's OK.
